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Physically Fit Need Only Apply PDF Print E-mail
Written by David Peake   
Sunday, 01 April 2007

nostairsSome companies have strict health requirements for their employees and there have been court battles, you can be sure.  But one company has found a creative way to weed out applicants who do not meet their standards ... all interviews are held on the second floor.

Yes, the Civil Liberties Union will stop this practice in the very near future on the basis that the handicapped are descriminated against, but it will be an interesting run while it lasts.

But is it fair for the ACLU to interfere in the hiring practices of a company which has only one service ... to deliver messages to mountain climbers around the world?  Imagine if you are on the face of El Capitan and your wife is pregnant!  That would be information that you would want to reach you before a ramp was built to your location.  I am just bringing up the obvious arguements that this fine company will make in court to defend itself.

Who is this company, you may ask ... well, let's just say that they opened their operation on April 1st, 2007!!!  'Nuf Said!

Last Updated ( Monday, 02 April 2007 )
We are Growing in Number PDF Print E-mail
Written by David Peake   
Saturday, 17 March 2007

After lo these many months, another David Peake has found his way to the site.  We are two!

Actually, his eighth grade students found the site (there is 15 minutes of fame for them ... divided equally, please).  I received an email a while ago from this fine fellow (he is obviously a fine fellow ... his name alone insures it).

 While the two of us have been planning and are highly motivated to take over the world ... numbers do matter.  If you, like these very gifted and talented eighth grade students (see how I pander to them ... they are my recruiting staff in the Washington DC area) know anyone who is named David Peake, please take the lead of these intrepid young citizens and point your David Peake to this site.

Last Updated ( Saturday, 21 June 2008 )
Trunk Monkey PDF Print E-mail
Written by David Peake   
Friday, 16 March 2007

Suburban Auto - Trunk MonkeyHave you ever wished you had a little assistance in a difficult situation?  Well, Suburban Auto Group decided on an advertising campaign that explored that need. 

You can see each of the ads here, individually ... or see a medley of the ads from a Youtube user (careful, not everything on the YouTube site is family friendly) here on my site.

Last Updated ( Sunday, 18 March 2007 )
Are These Subtitles for Me? PDF Print E-mail
Written by David Peake   
Wednesday, 23 August 2006


In a world so full of serious matters, sometimes we just need to laugh.

Terrorism is by no means funny ... humanity is.  When we are most disturbed by the events that surround us, maybe we need to find a way to laugh at the humanity we find in the situation.  Laughter doesn't solve any problems, but it helps ease some of the discomforts of life.

I share this video because it is funny.  It isn't a statement of any kind ... it's just funny!  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.  I laugh so very hard every time I see it.

I use to hate subtitles.  I know that hate is a strong word ... but it is true.  Watching a movie with subtitles was painful for me.  My bride, however, loves subtitles and has abused me with them over the years.  Now, much to my chagrin, I too love subtitles ... I can hardly watch a movie without them.   In fact, I am irritated now when a DVD doesn't offer them.

Closed captions, as it turns out, are not subtitles.  If you want another good laugh, turn on the news (especially an interview show) and watch as the poor cousin of subtitles fall behind.  It is like watching a Japanese monster movie where no one's mouth matches the words.  The longer someone talks, the farther the captions fall behind.

I'm just saying ... if you are looking for funny, try closed captioned television ... it's minutes of fun. 

Last Updated ( Thursday, 24 August 2006 )
Calling all David Peakes PDF Print E-mail
Written by David Peake   
Saturday, 19 August 2006

A few years ago, I typed my name into the search engine d’jour.  I found that there were gobs of people all over the world who answered to the name, David Peake ... most of them men.  Okay, all of them men, but it was fun suggesting otherwise. 

Somehow ... it seemed that there were an inordinate number of individuals with this name in New Zealand.  I can’t remember where I learned that and how I came across it, but it was obvious that the name was particularly popular there.

Peake is an English surname.  English as in the country (England, Britain, Briton, Britannia, Great Britain, etc.), not the language, while I am fairly certain that it also applies.  The name David has its origins with ... um ... God (I am pretty sure, but I can’t exactly prove it). 

So, after doing my search, I decided to buy the domain “davidpeake.com.”  I thought, when I bought it, that it would be the location where every David Peake would meet and we would devise our plan to take over the world.  No one has shown up yet (I’m leaving the light on for you, fellas!).

About a year ago, I did another search and discovered that there was another David Peake that had a site named for him.  I would tell you the site, but I don’t want you to go to his site and decide you like it better ... besides, I think all three of you who read this blog can figure it out (did I overstate my readership?).

Yesterday I did the unthinkable.  I called this other David Peake, but I had to leave a voice message.  How disappointing.  I mean, really!  Just as I was on the brink of total world domination, I got an answering machine.  The troops will not be led, that is all there is to it.

I am undaunted.  I am convinced that with perseverance I will reach each and every David Peake (a guy can dream, can’t he?).  So, if you are reading this and your name happens to be ... say, David Peake ... welcome home.

Last Updated ( Sunday, 20 August 2006 )
Is There an Oral Surgeon in the House? PDF Print E-mail
Written by David Peake   
Friday, 18 August 2006

After so few days since joining the world of bloggers (covertly putting a blog on a site assured to get no visitors), I have made an alarming discovery ... my tongue appears to be permanently embedded in my cheek!!

Now, according to the Journal of Diplomatic Language (I didn’t make that up, it exists ... Google it), “Sarcasm is an infrequent but important communicative behavior.”  But see, I’m not sure I am comfortable with the use of the word “infrequent” here.  Who are these diplomatic language journalers to determine how frequently sarcasm should be used?

Of course, there is the issue of my tongue being grafted to the soft inside of my cheek.  Perhaps if I were to adhere to the advice – nay, admonition of the aforementioned journalers, I would not be in this predicament.

It’s not that I mind my tongue in my cheek ... it’s just that it has become difficult to eat.  Have you ever bitten your tongue?  Ironically, if I were to bite my tongue once in a while, I wouldn’t be in the situation I find myself.  My head hurts from this paragraph.  I think I’d better lay down for a while.

One more thing, I found this interesting etymology for the word “sarcasm” on Merriam Webster Online

French or Late Latin; French sarcasme, from Late Latin sarcasmos, from Greek sarkasmos, from sarkazein to tear flesh, bite the lips in rage, sneer, from sark-, sarx flesh; probably akin to Avestan thwar&s- to cut. 
So, if I am to understand ... if I were to bite my tongue from time to time, I wouldn’t “bite my lips in rage” so often.  I think I will stick with a healthy dose of sarcasm ... at least in this blog.
Last Updated ( Thursday, 17 August 2006 )
Speaking of Alien Life ... PDF Print E-mail
Written by David Peake   
Thursday, 17 August 2006
Blit Wizbok - Alien songIf there were going be little green men running around the universe, I particularly like Victor Navone's "Blit Wizbok."   Putting aside that he has Gloria Gaynor's voice ... I rather like thinking of aliens in a 70's style Disco.  At the risk of offending, it "humanizes" them.

I have oft thought that "Martians" have been too commonly portrayed as malevolent conquerors from the stars.  What if they have the same angst about things such as love as we do ... just on a cosmic level?  Wouldn't your feelings be hurt if everyone from your neighboring planet shun you as being from the wrong side of the galactic tracks?

Enter Blit Wizbok!  Now we have a glimpse into the very soul of these maligned beings (providing they have souls).  Thanks to Victor, who has captured a moment in the life of our now good friend (c'mon give the little green guy a chance) Blit Wizbok's life ... we now know, among other things, that Disco lives on in the universe!

Take a look for your self:  Alien Song.  Maybe we won't look down our noses anymore at those who didn't have the good fortune to be born on the third rock from the sun.

Last Updated ( Monday, 05 February 2007 )
It Came from Outer Space PDF Print E-mail
Written by David Peake   
Wednesday, 16 August 2006

Firefox Crop CircleI knew it, I knew it, I knew it!!  Bill Gates has infuriated the entire galaxy!

Boy!  Just because of a simple little directive from Sir William to crush all things Netscape, somebody had to get their nose all bent out of shape and launch an all out assault on Browserdom.

Sure, Firefox generally works better than IE and has more features ... but something always seemed a little suspicious.  I mean was this technology really within the grasp of the sentient beings which are native to this little globe we call Earth?

Well, now we know ... Firefox was just the latest attempt to mettle in human affairs by our "friendly" neighbors from the vast reaches of outer space.  Is there any longer cause for doubt?  Doesn't the recent appearance of the mysterious crop circle on the outskirts of Amity, Oregon  just scream Inter-Galactic Calling Card?

Oh, wait!  I just ran across an article that explains this "mystery" on the Oregon State University website.  Apparently, some highly organized Firefox enthusiasts are responsible for the crop circle in honor of the 200 millionth download.  Yet, my extra-terrestial fears are not totally relieved ... according to the OSU article, the culprits who created this monstrosity admit that "the Firefox Crop Circle project shows that we have so much passion for Firefox that we want it to be visible from space!"

Why do they want it seen from space?  I just want to say, unless you want the little green men to take over the world ... you may want to consider carefully which browers you use.  I'm just saying. 

Last Updated ( Wednesday, 16 August 2006 )
My Kingdom for Some Bread PDF Print E-mail
Written by David Peake   
Monday, 14 August 2006

Okay, I am thirty-eight years old and I am on my first "real" diet.

I'm not dieting because I need to lose weight, though it wouldn't hurt.  I am dieting because I need to get healthier and I want my body to like me again.  The truth is I am starting to see symptoms in my health that concern me and I am willing for the first time to do something about it.  I am five days in ... check back in a week!!

I am not on the South Beach, Atkins, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Dr. Phil, Jack Lalanne or any one of a multitude of diets.  I am involved  in a particular kind of torture that only my bride of many (previously) loving years could devise:  I am not allowed to eat anything I like.

Strictly speaking, my last statement isn't true.  I can eat lots of things that I like ... just not those things which I crave the most:  bread, pasta, sugar, processed foods, etc.  It is remarkable to me how much sugar and starches I consumed on a daily basis in one form or another.  I have been having some withdrawls, but on the whole I am already feeling better.

The Bible says that "Man cannot live by bread alone," but I sure gave it my best try!!  I love bread.  I love to bake bread and eat it warm.  I like sandwiches, which incidentally, require an average of two slices of bread.  It is true that I have a sweet tooth, but bread has certainly proven to be my favorite food ... soughdough, please.  I think I need to join a support group:  "Hello, my name is David and I am a breadaholic!"

Is toast technically bread?  I am looking for any loophole I can find.  Have I mentioned how much I love pizza?  Pizza is built on bread.  Okay, pizza is really my favorite food and  the fact that it involves lots of bread makes it the perfect food.

Oh, I hope all of this dieting is worth it.  I want my cake and ... well, you know.


Last Updated ( Wednesday, 16 August 2006 )
Welcome to My Corner of the Web PDF Print E-mail
Written by David Peake   
Saturday, 12 August 2006

computerguyJust how egotistical is it to have a website with your own name?  Don't know, don't care ... I am too busy being impressed with myself.  None the less, I hope you find something here that is useful, interesting, funny or all of the above.

The "computer guy" is an image I found on the web ten years ago and I have no idea who created it. There may be a dozen sites on the web that have this image in some way, shape or form.  If anyone knows where it originated, I would be interested in knowing.

At any rate, I found that image and thought it was the perfect representation of me.  The most common view my family has of me is of the back of my head while I am working at my computer.

So, anyway, thanks for coming to my site.  Come back often, bring a friend .... but please, don't eat over your keyboard.

Last Updated ( Monday, 14 August 2006 )